I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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