While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
