Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
