great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
