Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
