dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
