Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
