I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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