Your face is a jimmy john
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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