The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i need some magic done to my vagina
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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