She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
