Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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