I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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