i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
