Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
