Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She swung at the pinata with crutches
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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