At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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