this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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