If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
