I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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