So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize