I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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