Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize