It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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