but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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