I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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