i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i think my cat just said my name.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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