I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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