the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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