p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
