Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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