he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
