Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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