When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
