Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
