You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
