If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just pee around me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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