Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
