she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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