I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
