Why are handjobs necessary in class?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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