I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize