There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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