Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
