i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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