I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
