"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
