He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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