i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish you could order shots online.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize