i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Randomize
