no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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