xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
