walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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