He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
