Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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