she kept yelling 'call me bella'
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
