Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
