HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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