my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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