I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
