3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
