you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
