I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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