Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
