What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
