God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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