was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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