is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have demons in me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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